The Power of Silence
Good fiction writers know how to use silence in their stories.
The deafening silence blared like a five-alarm fire.
Silence settled like falling snow at night, fresh and peaceful, yet holding a whisper of expectation.
A hush fell over the room, but questions popped and sparked in his mind like a tailpipe dragging along the road in urgent need of fixing.
While I love using silence as a writing tool, I’m still learning in real life how to not panic when there’s silence in a conversation. Something inside me wants to fill the void. My brain scrambles for topics, or my mouth starts to ramble without consulting my brain.
Silence can be golden. It’s been said that in a negotiation, the first one to speak loses for a couple of reasons. Speaking first is like showing your hand in a game of cards. The other side then holds the advantage of knowing your position and can play strategically. Another explanation is that during a hard close, a potential customer may stop to consider the purchase. If the other person speaks, they will interrupt the customer’s train of thought and fluster them into delaying, saying they need to think about it.
While following vloggers like Charisma on Command and Manners Matter to learn about various personalities for my fiction character development, I discovered a few insights myself. One of the topics these vloggers discuss is the use of silence. For instance, if a drink is spilled at a dinner party, instead of making a fuss and drawing attention, simply passing a napkin and continuing with your meal can save someone from embarrassment. If a friend or co-worker breaks down emotionally, sometimes the best thing you can do is hold space for them. Holding space involves listening to someone without offering advice or an empathic interruption, which often leads the other person to brush off their feelings and say they’re fine. Just being present with the person allows them the opportunity to process their emotions.
Silence can be a superpower. Remaining silent against negative words, petty arguments, gossip, or toxic posts is like withholding oxygen from a fire, allowing it to burn out. Others will realize you don’t have time for negativity, and they will come to respect you for your calm and unshakable strength.
Toxic people crave a reaction. Usually, they’re projecting their own insecurities and are either looking to pull you into their drama or take out their frustrations on you. Rarely when people engage in someone’s negativity do they walk away feeling better. Remaining silent or even stepping away, demonstrates Godly wisdom and discernment. It shows confidence in protecting your peace and your purpose.
Jesus often demonstrated the silent strength of not engaging in negativity. For example, after the woman caught in adultery was brought before him, the Pharisees demanded that Jesus decide whether or not she should be stoned. Instead, he drew in the dirt. When they persisted in getting an answer. He paused and said, “Let he who hasn’t sinned throw the first stone.” Rocks dropped to the ground, and the Pharisees left one by one. John 8:1-11.
After Jesus was arrested, He was taken to stand before Caiaphas, who asked him to speak to the charges against Him, but Jesus refused to answer. Later, He was brought before Pontius Pilate, but Jesus stayed silent as the leading priests made their accusations against Him. Pilot asked, “Don’t you hear all these charges they are bringing against you?” (Matthew 27:13) But once again, Jesus offered no response nor denial, much to the governor’s stunned surprise.
Jesus’s silence spoke volumes and allowed him to stay centered in His Godly purpose. He didn’t disparage his attackers. He didn’t tell them they’ll soon regret their actions, or argue that He was in the right. He didn’t smite those calling for his death with righteous indignation, but instead humbly fulfilled His Father’s will with a strength impossible to even imagine.
Jesus’s action of going to the cross to die for us spoke more than words ever could.