Why Not to Fall Head Over Heels in Love
The challenge in writing Christian romance is not to have my characters fall head over heels in love with one another. It sounds counterintuitive. Don’t all romance readers desire the hero to make a grand sacrifice and prove his love? What’s wrong with the heroine following her heart and choosing love over all else? Isn’t that what readers want in romance, for the hero and heroine to follow their hearts and fall hopelessly in love?
Jesus never said, “Follow your heart.” He said, “Follow me.” (Matthew 4:19)
The heart and our emotions can be misleading. Jeremiah 17:9 states, “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?”
Ouch.
Why did Jeremiah make such a harsh statement about the human heart? Because our emotions can blind us.
My husband and I have taught marriage groups or provided marriage mentoring for over eight years. We’re not professionals, but our own experiences and working with and being around couples have helped us identify certain patterns of behavior. We’ve found that about half of the couples listen and implement our advice. Perhaps it’s our approach or a lack of communication skills, but often, couples don’t heed our advice because they simply want to follow their heart.
Following your heart isn’t bad if it aligns with God’s will. Since our hearts can be deceitful and our emotions misleading, we must earnestly seek God’s wisdom and direction and be willing to listen. If friends and family members point out areas of concern, take a moment to discern their warnings. Is it possible that God is speaking through them to save you from future heartache or for something greater?
While I enjoy writing stories about heroes who show unconditional love for the heroine, sacrifice for her, and help her break free of the lie she has believed, it’s ultimately not the hero’s love that saves. Only God’s love can redeem us from our sins, so I strive to create characters that reflect God’s nature.
By entrusting our hearts to God, we can be transformed from the inside out and become real-life heroes and heroines who reflect Christ’s love. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 3:18, “So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.”
A lifelong love doesn’t just say, “Follow me.” True love says, “Follow me as I follow Christ.”